I haven’t written here in a long time. These days, more and more I realize that religious truths are not meant to be communicated through cold logical exercise and exposition, but through vivid imagery, music, and art. I have been writing a lot of poetry, and here I’d like to share something that very well fits this blog.
I got him half a lifetime ago. His lifetime.
He’s like my little brother from another species
Mon minou mignon, gato gatoso, my furball
Little fluffy killing machine
I got him when he was a little kitten
I will have him until he dies
Alpha and Omega.
I remember watching amazed at his wonder
how he discovered the world
His whole world
Holding his being on the palm of my hand
I would lift him up high to his heavens
There he sees things as I see them
and he wonders
There is so much he’s yet to discover
Is that transcendence?
Who holds me up high to see how small I am?
Who reveals me the heavenly secrets?
I will continue on living when Aslan is gone
In his finitude he will be eternal while I live
Is that eternal life?
Perhaps I am his God
Giving him food and water and love
Who is my God?
Keeping me in his world appartments
And, oh, I am so desperate when he is gone or
Ignoring me when he stares at the bright screen
I meow so loud
It seems he can’t hear me with the music of the stars.
When it’s darkest, when I am most awake, he sleeps
Yet sometimes I feel his warmth when the sun shines.
It’s so bothersome when my cat runs on his instincts
So I taught him not to climb the table or eat my food
He better not get too excited licking himself
Mark the apartment as his territory
That’s why I had him castrated
Submitted under my will
How I feel about his sexuality and purity laws.
Is this what divine law comes to?
Would I be better away from rule, owner and providence
Out in the wild
Alone fighting for myself
If only I could become a cat to tell Aslan how much I love him.
I’d give my cat life for him.
All nine of them.
Would I give my human life for him too?
Would God really die?
If only I could make him understand
Why I make him chase false lights and
Oh how much joy is this love
This sane madness of being fully glad
Merely for his being
How I envy his little comfortable life
Purring softly by the window
Everything I could have.
Does my God love him too? I do.